You clicked here because you're interested in why I chose to donate part of my profit, and why specifically the Victims Advocates to donate to. I am not a writer, but I would like to share my story and be an advocate for those who are scared and feel alone.
To understand a little more of what Victim Advocates is, click here.
*Warning, this may trigger some people*
In 2017, I was raped, for my second time (my first time being when I was 18 with a different man), on a first date with a guy I had recently met. It was a long night and there was a moment where I didn't think I would see my family again. I actually prayed I would have died so I wouldn't have to endure any more of his torment. In the weeks following, I was very suicidal and scared for my life, always looking over one shoulder for my predator. I went down to my local YWCA and got a rape test done, the after pill, and shots that prevented a few STDs. The nurses discussed with me on how I need to turn the man who violated me, as he is a very dangerous predator and has likely done it before or will continue to do it to other women. And if I do so, I will in return be eligible for help from an organization to help cover the rape kit test, therapy, and any other bills/living expenses associated with the incident.
The days following I attempted suicide and I checked myself into a psych hospital. There I had to do the hardest thing in my life, I reported my rape. I was recorded on a video camera, a recorder, and I relived every detail in front of a female detective. The detective warned me that it would be unlikely that this would lead to anywhere. I nodded in understanding. She then began to tell me if the investigation leads anywhere, I will need to testify against my rapist. I nodded with my heart pounding loudly in my ears, scared to even look at his face ever again. She then said, this will be a long process and may take even 3 years to get the rape test tested. I hesitated not wanting to work with this horrible tragedy for 3+ more years. It took me several moments and deep breaths, but I went through with reporting my rapist. I know that there may be someone else who was attacked by him out there and there may be others after me, and I needed to do it for these other women.
I went through lots of therapy, got on new medications, and met an amazing group of people whom I still talk to today while in the hospital. There I was also diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and that helped me really understand how my mind worked. The 10 days confined to the 4North floor was difficult to say nonetheless. I lacked privacy-which was understandable as we were all suicidal-and missed my bed. But looking back, it was in the hospital that I found myself and saw myself for the real me. Despite all that I had been through,
I was alive and I survived.
I wouldn't be where I am today without the Victim Advocates. Because of them, I was able to get the care I needed for survival. They covered the cost of my hospital stay, my therapy sessions, and the work I had missed. I want to help others who have experienced what I have been through.
You are not alone. I am here, I am listening, and I understand.
Even if you have never been sexually assaulted, you may be a victim somehow. And this is where the help is at for future victims, like me. I encourage you to reach out to someone if you feel the need to. Some days are harder than others. But I wake up every morning and get out of bed and do what I love. I started this company to share my story, give back to victims in need, be your friend, and express myself in the way I know how to best; with style.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
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